So I know it’s been nearly a year since I’ve posted anything. I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ve been pining away wondering what happened to me. I took a break. Not that posting these blogs was super stressful, but whatever. Anyway, I’m back, and plan on posting more often than once a year, but less than every day.
What brought me back is the new show on Netflix called Locke and Key. I AM SUCKED INTO THIS SHOW. This post will be full of spoilers so if you haven’t seen it, or intend to watch it, stop reading now. Seriously, I take no responsibility for ruining it for you if you keep reading. I’m watching it with my girlfriend and am only allowed to watch it with her, which means my mind is running wild waiting until the next time we can watch an episode. WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT!?
First off, the premise is cool. After their father Rendell was murdered, the family moves into his ancestral home named “Key House.” The three children (Tyler, Kinsey, & Bode) quickly discover the house is full of magic keys that do all kinds of crazy things. I’m half way through the season (5/10 episodes), and will list the keys we’ve learned about shortly. So far, one of the keys appears to be entirely beneficial, one of the keys seems to be completely malicious, and the rest have their pros and cons. The keys want to be found, and whisper to the Locke children who inevitably discover them. Their mom, we quickly learn, seems to immediately forget her experiences with the keys.
BUT WATCH OUT FOR THE WELL-LADY! Bode, the youngest son strikes up a conversation with a super-creepy lady at the bottom of a well on the other side of a locked door (he slips through the gate) and is promptly tricked into giving her one of the magic keys. She is not nice, and kills all kinds of people. She wants the keys, and will do whatever she can to get them.
The Keys (so far):
- Travel Key – Think of a place you want to go, unlock a door and you’re there! It has to be someplace you’ve already seen.
- Mirror Key – This is another dimension where you can trap your enemies.
- Music Box Key – This unlocks a music box you can use to control people like puppets.
- Fire Key – It sets fires. Big ones and small ones. I saw a guy jam it into his chest. It looks like it hurt.
- Head Key – Use this to get inside your head! Explore memories, confront your emotions, add knowledge. I’m going to speculate more on this below.
- Ghost Key – Turn into a ghost and fly around. You can’t interact with the living, but you CAN with at least one dead person.
- Face-Changing Key – They haven’t found this key yet, but just learned of it’s existence. You can use it to change the way you look.
- Memory Key (Tree Key) – They unlocked their uncle Duncan’s memories which were buried in jars near an old tree. One of these memories is where they learned about the Face-changing key. Duncan doesn’t remember any of this.
- Ellie’s Key – I don’t know what this does yet. Ellie is an old friend of the family and she has this key and used it to unlock the well-house gate. I speculate that it’s some kind of skeleton key.
I think that’s all we have so far. Right now Well-Lady has the travel key and the fire key. It’s important to note that she can’t TAKE the keys from one of the Locke family; they have to voluntarily give them to her. She’s coordinating with the high-school-age-kid who killed the Locke family’s father.
Okay, that’s enough background. Here’s what’s been rattling around in my head while I wait to continue the series.
- How did Duncan’t memories get buried by the tree? I have three theories. First, maybe they can use the memory key itself to remove memories from someone? Second, there could be another key that does that. Third, and most likely, I believe you can use the Head Key to take a memory out of someone’s head. This is the most likely, as we already know you can add knowledge to your head by tossing in a book, or remove unwanted emotions like fear.
- Why did the friend kill himself with the fire key after learning of Rendell’s murder? He gets a phone call, learns of the death, and promptly jams the fire-key into his chest. So far there’s no explanation why. This one’s bugging me.
- How is Well-Lady using the travel key to get around? Presumably she’s been trapped in the well. You can only use the key to travel to a door you’ve already seen, which means she must have seen all these doors before? Unless I misunderstood her (or she lied), and you really can use it to go anywhere there IS a door, regardless of whether you’ve seen it or not.
- What was the headmaster hiding, and why was he killed? It was clear he was more involved than he was letting on, but they haven’t explained it yet. I’m dying to know.
- What was Ellie trying to find when she snuck into Key House? Looking for more keys? She went into the well-house and whispered into the well for her dead ex-boyfriend Lucas, but apparently that didn’t go anywhere.
- Why do all the old friends from the photograph have key-hole scars in their chests? One guy killed himself using the fire key in there, but…? Do you think the fire key can turn you into fire but keep you alive? Is there another key we haven’t discovered that goes in your chest?
Okay, I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I can think of right now. I won’t get to watch another episode until Tuesday evening, so I’ll have to wait to find out these answers.
PLEASE DON’T POST SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS! I’ll find everything out eventually, and don’t want anything to ruin the suspense. If you noticed interesting things in the first 5 episodes feel free to mention them. As always, thanks for reading!
Serve over ice and enjoy,
Humble Dave
I thought I understood “The Sharp Experience.” I was wrong. You all completely blew my expectations out of the water, and made what could have been the most stressful experience of my life into an absolute pleasure. No joke. I spent about 29 hours with you all between Friday morning and Saturday afternoon, and you exceeded ALL of my expectations. Everyone I met was friendly, smiling, and willing to help. All completely professional, of course, but still willing to crack a joke and laugh with me.
Blood-taker girl with tattoos who was also in the SPA – Only saw her twice I think, but both times she was great. Memorably so. Made me smile both times. If she needs any more of my blood she knows where to find me. With how gentle she was both times, she could be taking it right now and I wouldn’t even know.
JUANITA! OH JUANITA! Let me tell you a story. It starts with a hungry boy, post throat and spine surgery. It ends with custom meals handcrafted with love to ensure I could actually eat it. Chicken cut up into tiny pieces. SHE LITERALLY CUT UP A PIECE OF FRIED CHICKEN INTO TINY LITTLE SLIVERS OF AWESOMENESS so that my recently intubated and slit open throat could eat them. Was that all? OF COURSE NOT! She then gave me a bowl of warm chicken broth so I could dip these chicken pieces and get them soggy enough to swallow.
Obviously I’d like to thanks my anesthesiologist Dr. Fowler (I think I spelled that correctly?) who did an awesome job and didn’t leave me in that half-life you see in the movies where you can’t move during surgery but you’re still totally awake and able to see and feel everything that’s going on. That would have been awful. Instead I drifted gently off to sleep and woke up with no problems. I have no memory of the recovery room following surgery. Keep kicking butt, Doc!
Dr. Ostrup. My neurosurgeon. The man who ripped out pieces of my spine with his bare hands, power tools, and force of will, then replaced it with robot parts. BEEP BOOP THANK YOU FELLOW HUMAN. Seriously though, Thanks for everything. You took the time to answer all of my questions using small, simple words I could understand. Like “Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion” and “Coffee.” Your calm demeanor and nonchalant attitude really helped me relax in the days leading up to the procedure. I hope you carved your initials into one of my vertebrae. You deserve it.
Michael Scott, truly “The Great One.”
one. For those of you who have used a typewriter, there’s a very satisfying “KA-CHUNK” every time you hit a key and stamp the paper. I miss those sounds and tactile feedback. Well, I’ve found the next best thing. Mechanical Keyboards.
Humble Dave 