The Greatest Book Ever Written

It’s always nice when I can write about a topic that has absolutely no controversy.  Some things are just so obvious and universal that just about everyone agrees.  And I think it’s a given that the best book ever written was Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy.

HGG cover

First off, the overall theme of the book is something to which we can all subscribe:

dontpanic

What great advice!  Don’t panic!  Does this amazing literary behemoth offer any other wisdom we can put into practice immediately?  Why yes it does!

“In the beginning, the Universe was created.  This made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”

“Q: What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue?
A: Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far.  Alternatively, if life hasn’t been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems to be more likely, consider yourself lucky that it won’t be troubling you for much longer.”

“Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made president should on no account be allowed to do the job.”

“There is an art to flying, or rather a knack.  The knack consists of being able to throw yourself at the ground, and miss.”

And of course:

“A towel, [The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”

So stay hoopy, you bunch of froods.  The answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything is decisively Forty-Two.  All we need to do is figure out the question and we’ll be all set!

As always, thanks for reading and you’re welcome!

Living the Dream,

Humble Dave

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I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

It’s a weird thing to admit, I know.  But it’s true.  You know the expression, “Fake it ’til you make it?”  That’s me.  Oh sure, I’ve been good at previous jobs.  But I’ve always faked the passion.  Oh, I supposed I might have been a “true believer” for a time, but the more I learned about my chosen profession, the more cynical I become.  That’s why when I was laid off last year I didn’t feel particularly bad about it.  It was an opportunity to make a change!  But to what?

And that’s always been my problem.  I have no idea what I’m doing!  Or more importantly, what I WANT to do.  “What drives me?” is one of the hardest questions I’ve ever had to ask myself.  It’s actually frustrating as hell, because you’re think that would be an easy one!

How do you even answer that question?  I don’t think I’m particularly passionate about anything.  I like to read (Sci-Fi and Fantasy, primarily), watch movies (the entertaining kind, not the educational kind), play with my dog, and surf the web.  I LOVE receiving packages in the mail, and for a while I was reviewing products on Amazon but that recently came to an end.

I like writing and am passing-fair at it, as evidenced by the fact that you’re still reading this wall of text I’m laying down here.  Thanks for that, btw.  But what do I write?  A book?  Short stories?  Random blogs about things and stuff?  Emotionally, I don’t think I’m ready for random stream-of-consciousness writing in such a public forum.  Frankly, I’m not sure the world is ready for me to just dump my brain out on the screen anyway.  It’s a weird place in there!

Irregardlessly (BOOM!  Adverbed an imaginary word.  I like throwing that in there just to upset both the grammar AND spell-check systems.  I think I may have also verbed a noun?), I suppose Forrest Gump had it half-right.  Life IS like a box of chocolates, but you have to bite into a bunch of gross ones like coconut (sorry hon!), and other weird nonsense until you find those sweet sweet buttercream bites of deliciousness incarnate.

So the circle us back around, what am going to do with myself?  I think I’d be awesome at retirement, but I lack both the funds and the funds to make that fantasy a reality right now.  Something in the book industry would be nice.  Would I be a good editor?  Publisher?  Writer?  Some other “er”?  Geez, I can’t even remember if the question mark goes inside or outside the quotation marks.  That’s not a good sign.  Then again, if I’m writing/publishing for Americans (which I would be, I suppose) most people wouldn’t be able to tell anyway.  That’s kind of depressing, actually.

Anyway, I’ll keep looking.  I suppose that’s all any of us can do.  Except for those lucky few who already found their passion and are living their dream.  And who knows?  Maybe someone will read my blog, decide my writing is awesome, and offer me a grant of some kind to keep writing whatever madness pops into my head.  Or someone may read my blog, decide it’s just awful, and pay me to stop?  Ooh!  Or pay me to keep writing this awful nonsense because they find it amusing.  I’m strangely comfortable with that.

So in conclusion, that’s why the Marvel Universe movies are so much better than DC Universe movies.  But it’s sad, really.  How do you screw up Superman and Batman so badly?

Love,
Humble Dave

edit:  I also like craft beer and whiskey.  And I find technology fascinating, although the completely voluntary loss of privacy concerns me.