The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog

I have five “drafts” of blog posts pending right now.  The natural question following this statement could easily be, “Why aren’t you writing one of them instead of this nonsense?”  There’s an easy answer for that question, but I’ll be damned if I know it.

You see, I mostly write stream of consciousness style.  That means words fall right out of my head and onto the keys.  Sometimes they’re interesting, sometimes they’re clever, often they’re varying degrees of “why bother,” but they’re always honest.  My honest words, from honest thoughts.  When I write, I’m not “making up stories.”  I’m sharing a brief view into my head.  A brief, carefully filtered, view inside my head.  Unfiltered Dave is a more acquired taste, and you poor souls only get a small does of me when I’m motivated to write.

Still, you’ve received some gems over the years, that’s for sure.  The Way of Jello was pure gold (or pure jello!).  This post about idiot companies being stupid was a personal favorite.  I really appreciated the opportunity to call out the excellent service I received from Sharp Memorial Hospital before, during, and after my surgery last year.  And how could we forget my first post, back when this blog was primarily focused on reviewing products I bought on Amazon (PS I still love my inflatable lounger!)?

The point is, I have no idea if I was trying to make point.  That’s what this blog is all about.  Wandering through my mind in a semi-coherent way, stopping to look at any interesting sights along the way.  No, they won’t all be interesting to you.  No, for the most part there’s no coherent theme or order in which they’re presented.  And no…

I stopped here to check an email, and now I have no idea what I was talking about.

So anyway, no anything.  But there’s a lot yesses (yeses?  yeahs? Yarps, if you’re a Hot Fuzz fan) too!  Yes, I find all my posts interesting!  Yes, some of them will make a point accidentally, and some even on purpose.  Yes, I’m usually smiling when I’m writing, and hopefully that cheer comes through on the page.  Yes, I know most of you are reading this on a screen, but I’m allowed to call it a page because it’s my world and I rule here.

Maybe that’s what I like best about it.  For me, this is an extremely low pressure environment.  I had 5 ideas for blog posts and put them into drafts so I wouldn’t forget.  But today, now, I have no interest in writing about them. I COULD force myself to do it, but that would be stressful.  They are ideas that are obviously not ripe yet.  So they have to sit and wait for me to be in the right mood (the WRITE mood!  So punny) to ponder them.  They need to percolate.  But the fun bit, are you paying attention?  I’m coming to the fun bit.  The fun bit, however, is not writing about something that came to me yesterday, or 2+ days ago.  The fun bit is putting my fingers on the keyboard and watching what falls out of my head.  For me, THAT’S to fun of this blog.

I hope it’s fun for you, too!  As always, thanks for reading and you’re welcome!

Living the dream,

Humble Dave

P.S.  If any employers are reading this and are thinking about hiring me for a writing job, but are concerned I won’t be interested because it may not be fun:  MAKE ME AN OFFER!  I would LOVE to write for a living, and will happily trade my writing time for money and health insurance.  And if in turn I receive power and fame I promise to only use them for good.

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I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

It’s a weird thing to admit, I know.  But it’s true.  You know the expression, “Fake it ’til you make it?”  That’s me.  Oh sure, I’ve been good at previous jobs.  But I’ve always faked the passion.  Oh, I supposed I might have been a “true believer” for a time, but the more I learned about my chosen profession, the more cynical I become.  That’s why when I was laid off last year I didn’t feel particularly bad about it.  It was an opportunity to make a change!  But to what?

And that’s always been my problem.  I have no idea what I’m doing!  Or more importantly, what I WANT to do.  “What drives me?” is one of the hardest questions I’ve ever had to ask myself.  It’s actually frustrating as hell, because you’re think that would be an easy one!

How do you even answer that question?  I don’t think I’m particularly passionate about anything.  I like to read (Sci-Fi and Fantasy, primarily), watch movies (the entertaining kind, not the educational kind), play with my dog, and surf the web.  I LOVE receiving packages in the mail, and for a while I was reviewing products on Amazon but that recently came to an end.

I like writing and am passing-fair at it, as evidenced by the fact that you’re still reading this wall of text I’m laying down here.  Thanks for that, btw.  But what do I write?  A book?  Short stories?  Random blogs about things and stuff?  Emotionally, I don’t think I’m ready for random stream-of-consciousness writing in such a public forum.  Frankly, I’m not sure the world is ready for me to just dump my brain out on the screen anyway.  It’s a weird place in there!

Irregardlessly (BOOM!  Adverbed an imaginary word.  I like throwing that in there just to upset both the grammar AND spell-check systems.  I think I may have also verbed a noun?), I suppose Forrest Gump had it half-right.  Life IS like a box of chocolates, but you have to bite into a bunch of gross ones like coconut (sorry hon!), and other weird nonsense until you find those sweet sweet buttercream bites of deliciousness incarnate.

So the circle us back around, what am going to do with myself?  I think I’d be awesome at retirement, but I lack both the funds and the funds to make that fantasy a reality right now.  Something in the book industry would be nice.  Would I be a good editor?  Publisher?  Writer?  Some other “er”?  Geez, I can’t even remember if the question mark goes inside or outside the quotation marks.  That’s not a good sign.  Then again, if I’m writing/publishing for Americans (which I would be, I suppose) most people wouldn’t be able to tell anyway.  That’s kind of depressing, actually.

Anyway, I’ll keep looking.  I suppose that’s all any of us can do.  Except for those lucky few who already found their passion and are living their dream.  And who knows?  Maybe someone will read my blog, decide my writing is awesome, and offer me a grant of some kind to keep writing whatever madness pops into my head.  Or someone may read my blog, decide it’s just awful, and pay me to stop?  Ooh!  Or pay me to keep writing this awful nonsense because they find it amusing.  I’m strangely comfortable with that.

So in conclusion, that’s why the Marvel Universe movies are so much better than DC Universe movies.  But it’s sad, really.  How do you screw up Superman and Batman so badly?

Love,
Humble Dave

edit:  I also like craft beer and whiskey.  And I find technology fascinating, although the completely voluntary loss of privacy concerns me.