Words On A Page

I know, I know, it’s been a while.  You’ve missed me.  “Where are Dave’s entertaining blogs,” you’ve asked?  “Why hasn’t he been amusing me like the trained monkey that he is?”

Haven’t been in the mood.  I have had (and am having) a tumultuous few months.  And not in a good way.  Wild changes in all aspects of my life whose repercussions have yet to be fully felt.  New career with no financial security, living arrangements in flux, HUGE life changes, continued pain and physical limitations following my neck surgery, and death of a very close family member are just what immediately come to mind.

But people keep telling me to write another blog, so here it is.  A bunch of words on a page.  Really, a screen.  Unless you print all my blogs out before you read them.  Do you do that?  That would be strange.  I periodically hear stories of people’s grandparents who find interesting articles on the internet, print them out and then mail them to their grandkids.  So it’s not completely outside the realm of possibility.

Anyway, words on a page.  Still not really feeling it.  Deedle-dee.  It’s hot outside.  It’s also hot inside.  I have a list of to-do’s and instead of doing the big things on it that stress me out I’ve been doing the little things that are easy.  Makes me feel like I’m accomplishing something even though really I’m not doing the things that are important.  Shoot, writing this wasn’t even on the list, that’s how far down my priorities this is right now.  But I happened to have the laptop on my lap, so this is what you get.  Words on a page.

I watched Ready Player One on the airplane yesterday.  It was mediocre.  Read the book instead.  I also watched Rampage.  It was better than I expected but… come on.  It’s a nearly 2 hour long movie based on a video game in the ’80’s where you played a giant monster and smashed buildings down.  Hollywood is really reaching these days.  What’s next, Centipede?  Pew Pew!

The gentleman sitting next to me on the plane was editing some restaurant menus.  The girl sitting next to him, whom he didn’t know prior to the trip, had a tattoo on her right wrist of a fork and spoon.  That was weird.

I’m playing a new game on my phone called “Hole.io”.  You control a small hole that gets bigger by eating parts of a city.  The bigger you get, the more you can eat.  Each game is 2 minutes long.  You can play against other people online, against others locally via bluetooth, or by yourself.  It’s a fun time-killer.  Check it out.

Oh, Jetblue has a new class of seats called, “Mint.”  They look neat.  No, I didn’t get to sit in them.

Anyways, I’m pretty much done with the words on this page.  I’m not editing or adding any pictures.  Serve over ice and enjoy.

-Humble Dave

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What’s your favorite 404 page?

Ahh, the dreaded “Error 404: Page Not Found” message.  Most of us have seen one, and usually they’re lame.  Oh so lame.  But occasionally a clever web dev or some kind of internet leprechaun will take advantage of the opportunity and create something really special.  Something that makes you smile when you’d normally just be frustrated that you can’t look at the cat pictures you were searching for.

I guess I should take one moment, before sharing my favorite 404 page, to address those who have never seen nor heard of this phenomena.  I can only assume that this is also your first time on the internet.  Welcome!  The internet is a strange and mysterious place filled with wonders and horrors alike.  In fact, some of the wonders are actually horrifying.  An Error 404 happens when your computer was able to leap across the internet and talk to the computer you’re looking for, but the page you’re seeking just isn’t there.  It used to be just a boring old message on a white screen.  But not always.

Here’s my favorite, from the website meh.com.

Meh-404Above is just a screenshot of their 404 page and the playable video is below (you’ll need some volume for this)

I never get tired of that.  What a clever way to turn a negative (page error) into a positive and entertaining time!  And there are a whole BUNCH of great 404 pages out there.  Share yours in the comments!

As always, thanks for reading, and you’re welcome.

Living the Dream,
Humble Dave

I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

It’s a weird thing to admit, I know.  But it’s true.  You know the expression, “Fake it ’til you make it?”  That’s me.  Oh sure, I’ve been good at previous jobs.  But I’ve always faked the passion.  Oh, I supposed I might have been a “true believer” for a time, but the more I learned about my chosen profession, the more cynical I become.  That’s why when I was laid off last year I didn’t feel particularly bad about it.  It was an opportunity to make a change!  But to what?

And that’s always been my problem.  I have no idea what I’m doing!  Or more importantly, what I WANT to do.  “What drives me?” is one of the hardest questions I’ve ever had to ask myself.  It’s actually frustrating as hell, because you’re think that would be an easy one!

How do you even answer that question?  I don’t think I’m particularly passionate about anything.  I like to read (Sci-Fi and Fantasy, primarily), watch movies (the entertaining kind, not the educational kind), play with my dog, and surf the web.  I LOVE receiving packages in the mail, and for a while I was reviewing products on Amazon but that recently came to an end.

I like writing and am passing-fair at it, as evidenced by the fact that you’re still reading this wall of text I’m laying down here.  Thanks for that, btw.  But what do I write?  A book?  Short stories?  Random blogs about things and stuff?  Emotionally, I don’t think I’m ready for random stream-of-consciousness writing in such a public forum.  Frankly, I’m not sure the world is ready for me to just dump my brain out on the screen anyway.  It’s a weird place in there!

Irregardlessly (BOOM!  Adverbed an imaginary word.  I like throwing that in there just to upset both the grammar AND spell-check systems.  I think I may have also verbed a noun?), I suppose Forrest Gump had it half-right.  Life IS like a box of chocolates, but you have to bite into a bunch of gross ones like coconut (sorry hon!), and other weird nonsense until you find those sweet sweet buttercream bites of deliciousness incarnate.

So the circle us back around, what am going to do with myself?  I think I’d be awesome at retirement, but I lack both the funds and the funds to make that fantasy a reality right now.  Something in the book industry would be nice.  Would I be a good editor?  Publisher?  Writer?  Some other “er”?  Geez, I can’t even remember if the question mark goes inside or outside the quotation marks.  That’s not a good sign.  Then again, if I’m writing/publishing for Americans (which I would be, I suppose) most people wouldn’t be able to tell anyway.  That’s kind of depressing, actually.

Anyway, I’ll keep looking.  I suppose that’s all any of us can do.  Except for those lucky few who already found their passion and are living their dream.  And who knows?  Maybe someone will read my blog, decide my writing is awesome, and offer me a grant of some kind to keep writing whatever madness pops into my head.  Or someone may read my blog, decide it’s just awful, and pay me to stop?  Ooh!  Or pay me to keep writing this awful nonsense because they find it amusing.  I’m strangely comfortable with that.

So in conclusion, that’s why the Marvel Universe movies are so much better than DC Universe movies.  But it’s sad, really.  How do you screw up Superman and Batman so badly?

Love,
Humble Dave

edit:  I also like craft beer and whiskey.  And I find technology fascinating, although the completely voluntary loss of privacy concerns me.