I have five “drafts” of blog posts pending right now. The natural question following this statement could easily be, “Why aren’t you writing one of them instead of this nonsense?” There’s an easy answer for that question, but I’ll be damned if I know it.
You see, I mostly write stream of consciousness style. That means words fall right out of my head and onto the keys. Sometimes they’re interesting, sometimes they’re clever, often they’re varying degrees of “why bother,” but they’re always honest. My honest words, from honest thoughts. When I write, I’m not “making up stories.” I’m sharing a brief view into my head. A brief, carefully filtered, view inside my head. Unfiltered Dave is a more acquired taste, and you poor souls only get a small does of me when I’m motivated to write.
Still, you’ve received some gems over the years, that’s for sure. The Way of Jello was pure gold (or pure jello!). This post about idiot companies being stupid was a personal favorite. I really appreciated the opportunity to call out the excellent service I received from Sharp Memorial Hospital before, during, and after my surgery last year. And how could we forget my first post, back when this blog was primarily focused on reviewing products I bought on Amazon (PS I still love my inflatable lounger!)?
The point is, I have no idea if I was trying to make point. That’s what this blog is all about. Wandering through my mind in a semi-coherent way, stopping to look at any interesting sights along the way. No, they won’t all be interesting to you. No, for the most part there’s no coherent theme or order in which they’re presented. And no…
I stopped here to check an email, and now I have no idea what I was talking about.
So anyway, no anything. But there’s a lot yesses (yeses? yeahs? Yarps, if you’re a Hot Fuzz fan) too! Yes, I find all my posts interesting! Yes, some of them will make a point accidentally, and some even on purpose. Yes, I’m usually smiling when I’m writing, and hopefully that cheer comes through on the page. Yes, I know most of you are reading this on a screen, but I’m allowed to call it a page because it’s my world and I rule here.
Maybe that’s what I like best about it. For me, this is an extremely low pressure environment. I had 5 ideas for blog posts and put them into drafts so I wouldn’t forget. But today, now, I have no interest in writing about them. I COULD force myself to do it, but that would be stressful. They are ideas that are obviously not ripe yet. So they have to sit and wait for me to be in the right mood (the WRITE mood! So punny) to ponder them. They need to percolate. But the fun bit, are you paying attention? I’m coming to the fun bit. The fun bit, however, is not writing about something that came to me yesterday, or 2+ days ago. The fun bit is putting my fingers on the keyboard and watching what falls out of my head. For me, THAT’S to fun of this blog.
I hope it’s fun for you, too! As always, thanks for reading and you’re welcome!
Living the dream,
Humble Dave
P.S. If any employers are reading this and are thinking about hiring me for a writing job, but are concerned I won’t be interested because it may not be fun: MAKE ME AN OFFER! I would LOVE to write for a living, and will happily trade my writing time for money and health insurance. And if in turn I receive power and fame I promise to only use them for good.
I thought I understood “The Sharp Experience.” I was wrong. You all completely blew my expectations out of the water, and made what could have been the most stressful experience of my life into an absolute pleasure. No joke. I spent about 29 hours with you all between Friday morning and Saturday afternoon, and you exceeded ALL of my expectations. Everyone I met was friendly, smiling, and willing to help. All completely professional, of course, but still willing to crack a joke and laugh with me.
Blood-taker girl with tattoos who was also in the SPA – Only saw her twice I think, but both times she was great. Memorably so. Made me smile both times. If she needs any more of my blood she knows where to find me. With how gentle she was both times, she could be taking it right now and I wouldn’t even know.
JUANITA! OH JUANITA! Let me tell you a story. It starts with a hungry boy, post throat and spine surgery. It ends with custom meals handcrafted with love to ensure I could actually eat it. Chicken cut up into tiny pieces. SHE LITERALLY CUT UP A PIECE OF FRIED CHICKEN INTO TINY LITTLE SLIVERS OF AWESOMENESS so that my recently intubated and slit open throat could eat them. Was that all? OF COURSE NOT! She then gave me a bowl of warm chicken broth so I could dip these chicken pieces and get them soggy enough to swallow.
Obviously I’d like to thanks my anesthesiologist Dr. Fowler (I think I spelled that correctly?) who did an awesome job and didn’t leave me in that half-life you see in the movies where you can’t move during surgery but you’re still totally awake and able to see and feel everything that’s going on. That would have been awful. Instead I drifted gently off to sleep and woke up with no problems. I have no memory of the recovery room following surgery. Keep kicking butt, Doc!
Dr. Ostrup. My neurosurgeon. The man who ripped out pieces of my spine with his bare hands, power tools, and force of will, then replaced it with robot parts. BEEP BOOP THANK YOU FELLOW HUMAN. Seriously though, Thanks for everything. You took the time to answer all of my questions using small, simple words I could understand. Like “Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion” and “Coffee.” Your calm demeanor and nonchalant attitude really helped me relax in the days leading up to the procedure. I hope you carved your initials into one of my vertebrae. You deserve it.
Humble Dave 