The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog

I have five “drafts” of blog posts pending right now.  The natural question following this statement could easily be, “Why aren’t you writing one of them instead of this nonsense?”  There’s an easy answer for that question, but I’ll be damned if I know it.

You see, I mostly write stream of consciousness style.  That means words fall right out of my head and onto the keys.  Sometimes they’re interesting, sometimes they’re clever, often they’re varying degrees of “why bother,” but they’re always honest.  My honest words, from honest thoughts.  When I write, I’m not “making up stories.”  I’m sharing a brief view into my head.  A brief, carefully filtered, view inside my head.  Unfiltered Dave is a more acquired taste, and you poor souls only get a small does of me when I’m motivated to write.

Still, you’ve received some gems over the years, that’s for sure.  The Way of Jello was pure gold (or pure jello!).  This post about idiot companies being stupid was a personal favorite.  I really appreciated the opportunity to call out the excellent service I received from Sharp Memorial Hospital before, during, and after my surgery last year.  And how could we forget my first post, back when this blog was primarily focused on reviewing products I bought on Amazon (PS I still love my inflatable lounger!)?

The point is, I have no idea if I was trying to make point.  That’s what this blog is all about.  Wandering through my mind in a semi-coherent way, stopping to look at any interesting sights along the way.  No, they won’t all be interesting to you.  No, for the most part there’s no coherent theme or order in which they’re presented.  And no…

I stopped here to check an email, and now I have no idea what I was talking about.

So anyway, no anything.  But there’s a lot yesses (yeses?  yeahs? Yarps, if you’re a Hot Fuzz fan) too!  Yes, I find all my posts interesting!  Yes, some of them will make a point accidentally, and some even on purpose.  Yes, I’m usually smiling when I’m writing, and hopefully that cheer comes through on the page.  Yes, I know most of you are reading this on a screen, but I’m allowed to call it a page because it’s my world and I rule here.

Maybe that’s what I like best about it.  For me, this is an extremely low pressure environment.  I had 5 ideas for blog posts and put them into drafts so I wouldn’t forget.  But today, now, I have no interest in writing about them. I COULD force myself to do it, but that would be stressful.  They are ideas that are obviously not ripe yet.  So they have to sit and wait for me to be in the right mood (the WRITE mood!  So punny) to ponder them.  They need to percolate.  But the fun bit, are you paying attention?  I’m coming to the fun bit.  The fun bit, however, is not writing about something that came to me yesterday, or 2+ days ago.  The fun bit is putting my fingers on the keyboard and watching what falls out of my head.  For me, THAT’S to fun of this blog.

I hope it’s fun for you, too!  As always, thanks for reading and you’re welcome!

Living the dream,

Humble Dave

P.S.  If any employers are reading this and are thinking about hiring me for a writing job, but are concerned I won’t be interested because it may not be fun:  MAKE ME AN OFFER!  I would LOVE to write for a living, and will happily trade my writing time for money and health insurance.  And if in turn I receive power and fame I promise to only use them for good.

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SURPRISE!!!!

My wife is turning 40 this week, and is feeling a bit down about it.  I remember a couple of years ago I kind of felt the same way.  It’s kind of random in that it’s really just another year, but at the same time, emotionally, 40 is kind of a turning point.  Many of us simply start to feel… well… old.  Physically and emotionally there’s really no difference between one day and the next, except on our birthdays.  For some strange reason, on that day WE’RE different.  But not really.

Anyway, she was feeling a bit down this past week due to the demise of her 4th decade of life.  Now, my wife normally LOVES to celebrate things.  Birthdays, holidays, imaginary holidays (like monthaversaries and half-birthdays), etc.  She decorates the house, buys balloons, etc.  We don’t get rid of the balloons until they sag enough to get in the way.  Last year our birthday balloons last about 10 months.  We REALLY were hoping they’d go the whole year, but oh well.

Now obviously you can’t plan your own birthday party.  Someone has to throw you one.  But she was conflicted on if she really wanted to celebrate or not.  So, I told her I’d organize a small get-together at a friends house.  Just a handful of her favorite people.  Something nice, but mellow.  She thanked me, and I could tell she was bummed we weren’t doing something bigger.

It’s okay, because that plan was a total fabrication.  A lie, if you will.  But a little white lie.  Because what I REALLY planned was right up her alley:  A little kids style birthday bash at the little park in our community.

Now I’m notoriously bad at keeping surprise events from her.  Not others.  If someone else is doing something for her it’s no problem.  But if I’M throwing her a party, or taking her to dinner, or something like that I almost always blow it before the event.  Not this time (although there were some CLOSE calls!).

We left the house yesterday to “go to our friend’s place for the party.”  I drove a couple blocks, and told her I needed to make a quick stop at a neighbor’s house to grab something.  This neighbor lives right against the park.  She looks over and says, “OH!  Someone’s throwing a party!  They have a bounce castle!  Wait… that girl looks like my sister.”  Huh… so it does….

smile

She was TOTALLY surprised.  I invited her friends, family, and co-workers, and told them all to bring their kids.  Everyone sang happy birthday as we walked over to the party.  Ordered pizza’s, played little kids’ party games, at birthday cake, sang happy birthday again (obvs).  What else am I forgetting?  Oh yeah, A GIANT BOUNCY HOUSE WITH A SLIDE!

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Yup.  I went there.  A giant bouncy house for my princess who was turning 10 (x4).  We 20180430_074136had a great party.  We also played ring toss, horseshoes, and corn-hole.  Naturally we had to do a round of Pin The Tail On The Donkey.

I actually had a few other games planned that we never got to do: Egg and spoon races, water-balloon toss, 3-legged-races, and a few others.

Well, I suppose there was one other game we had to play, that no little kids party could do without… POTATO SACK RACES!

 

So we had loads of fun, the birthday girl got to feel like a little kid again, and everyone ha an awesome time.  And, frankly, if giggles like these don’t indicate fun I don’t know what does:

Happy Birthday pumpkin-pie, I love you!

As always, thanks for reading, and you’re welcome.

Living the Dream,
Humble Dave

Friday Fun – Slither.io

Hooray!  Another episode of Friday Fun!  Today’s game is Slither.io, an online multi-player game that is RIDICULOUSLY addictive.  Believe me, your whole office will want to get in on this one!

slitherio main

In Slither.io, you start as a little snake moving around in a world filled with little glowing dots you have to eat to get bigger.  There is literally no limit to how big you can get!  What’s stopping you?  The other players!  As this is a multiplayer game there are tens to hundreds of people playing at any given time.  If you run into the side of another snake you die and turn into a bunch of glowing dots for them to eat.

slitherio eat dots

I cannot emphasize how much fun this game actually is!  There’s also a TON of strategy for a game that uses a mouse and one button to play.  You see, you can speed up (temporarily) to zoom ahead of an opponent and cut them off.  Remember, if they run into you they’ll turn into a bunch of glowing dots you can eat (see above).  This is by far the fastest way to grow.  If you’re particularly clever you can circle an enemy and trap them, slowly tightening until they’re done!

slitherio circleslitherio circle eat

The game board is huge, but there is an edge so it keeps everyone fairly contained.  Plenty of room to scrounge in the emptier spots or fight for your life in the center.  My favorite strategy is to go straight to the center and hang around until one of the bigger snakes gets killed then try and grab as many of their dots as I can.  Either grow fast or game over!  FUN!

Anyway, go give it a try!  The game is Slither.io and you can click any of the links in this post to get there.  Enjoy!

As always, thanks for reading and you’re welcome.

Living the Dream,
Humble Dave

Friday Fun – GeoGuessr.com

It’s Friday!  Hooray!  And in honor of everyone’s favorite weekday I’m starting a new weekly post called “Friday Fun.”  Every Friday I will direct you to a website/game/something interesting that you can use during any potential downtime you have.

Geoguessr

Today’s featured game is GeoGuessr.com.  GeoGuessr is a an online game using Google Street View to place you on the ground somewhere in the world.  You can move around using Street View and your goal is to try and determine where you are (on the planet!).

Once you think you have an idea, you click that location on a small world map off to the side.  It will then tell you exactly how far away you were from the right location and it assigns you points.  You play five rounds and it tells you how you did overall.

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I like this game for a bunch of reasons, but only a few of them matter.

1) It’s lots of fun!  You move around trying to spot some kind of landmark or streetsign that might give you a hint.

2) You learn a little geography!  I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not nearly as knowledgeable about world geography as I should be.  This game has accidentally become a great learning tool for me!

3)  You can challenge other people and see who gets a better score!  Yay competition!

Seriously though, this game is incredibly fun and ridiculously addicting.  Give it a try and let me know what you think in the comments.  Also, if you have any suggestions for games you’d like me to feature, email me at humbledavereviews@gmail.com!

As always, thanks for reading and you’re welcome!

Living the Dream,
Humble Dave