Stupid Companies Doing Stupid Things Stupidly: Ford Automotive

Sigh.  I like my car.  Honestly I do.  It’s a 2013 Ford Escape.  Silver.  Titanium Package, which means we got the wave-your-foot-under-the-tailgate-and-it-opens package.  There’s adjustable mood lighting on the inside.  I’m not joking.  We can pick from something like half-a-dozen colors and adjust the brightness.  It’s remarkably awesome.  It has a nice long sunroof.  The car will parallel park itself.  We love that feature.  It does a GREAT job at it, too.  It’s comfortable.  Are you picking up what I’m laying down?  We like it.

It also has built in navigation.  I’ve always liked having navigation in my car.  It’s convenient.  There’s a nice big screen and it tells me where to go with a polite, yet confident and direct female voice explaining how even though I thought I was supposed to make a right turn, what I actually wanted was a left turn, assuming of course I intended to go to the destination I preselected.

However as we all know, new roads get built.  Occasionally, old roads get closed.  On-ramps and off-ramps get moved.  Lanes are widened and additional lanes are added.  So obviously the navigation maps need updating.

Does Ford do this automatically and wirelessly for you?  No.  Do they mail you a card/CD/USB stick annually so you can do it yourself?  No.  Do you have to take the car into the dealership for the update?  Also No.

Ford Navi updateThey send you an email offering you an SD card with updated maps for $149.  AND THEY OFFER AN UPDATED MAP CARD EVERY YEAR.  That’s right.  Ford apparently feels that users should pay an extra $149/year for updates THAT EVERY OTHER NAVIGATION SYSTEM OFFERS FOR FREE.  Forget google maps for a second (which is arguably the best navigation/map service ever devised).  You could BUY A GARMIN for less and get free updates for life.

 

I literally just can’t even.  I just can’t.  I smell burnt toast, AND IT’S YOUR FAULT, FORD!

Oh, wait.  Nevermind.  Look at all the perks:

Ford navi info

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No.  I’m not going to spend any time countering the above bullets, because they’re all stupid.  I use Google Maps/Navigation.  It gets me where I want to go, and updates every second.  Traffic, accidents, route-changes, multiple route options, whatevers.  There’s literally nothing Ford can to to their navigation that makes it better than Maps.

Dear Ford, if you’re reading this make the navigation updates free.  Better yet, integrate Google Maps into your car’s navigation systems and sell advertising to gas stations, restaurants, etc.

Dear Readers, if you’re paying any money for navigation updates in your car, STOP DOING THAT RIGHT NOW.  Drop a smartphone up on your dash and upgrade your life experience immediately.

As always, thanks for reading, and you’re welcome.

Living the Dream,
Humble Dave

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Friday Fun – GeoGuessr.com

It’s Friday!  Hooray!  And in honor of everyone’s favorite weekday I’m starting a new weekly post called “Friday Fun.”  Every Friday I will direct you to a website/game/something interesting that you can use during any potential downtime you have.

Geoguessr

Today’s featured game is GeoGuessr.com.  GeoGuessr is a an online game using Google Street View to place you on the ground somewhere in the world.  You can move around using Street View and your goal is to try and determine where you are (on the planet!).

Once you think you have an idea, you click that location on a small world map off to the side.  It will then tell you exactly how far away you were from the right location and it assigns you points.  You play five rounds and it tells you how you did overall.

Geoguessr3

I like this game for a bunch of reasons, but only a few of them matter.

1) It’s lots of fun!  You move around trying to spot some kind of landmark or streetsign that might give you a hint.

2) You learn a little geography!  I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not nearly as knowledgeable about world geography as I should be.  This game has accidentally become a great learning tool for me!

3)  You can challenge other people and see who gets a better score!  Yay competition!

Seriously though, this game is incredibly fun and ridiculously addicting.  Give it a try and let me know what you think in the comments.  Also, if you have any suggestions for games you’d like me to feature, email me at humbledavereviews@gmail.com!

As always, thanks for reading and you’re welcome!

Living the Dream,
Humble Dave

Have You Ever Regretted a Google Search?

I have.  Only once, really.  Now I’m not talking about, “Oh I clicked this link and now I regret what I saw.”  No.  I’m talking about actively searching for something you thought you wanted more information about, only to realize that you were much happier in ignorance.  I’ve only done it once, and if you read this, maybe I can save you a mistake.

A number of years ago I got laser eye surgery (technically I had “Advanced Surface Ablation”, which basically means they melted the front of my eyeball off before lasering it into the right shape).  I THOUGHT it would be a good idea to do some independent research.  I started with the doctor who would be performing the surgery.  All good news!  Hooray!  You know she did Tony Hawk’s eyes!  And if I’m remembering correctly (and if you know me, you’d know this is questionable), the guy who invented the machine that does the lasering comes to her for “touch ups.”  Great!

Then I decided to research what could go wrong.  Holy Sh*t (I almost never curse in these blogs, but even just remembering that search is bringing back the anxiety I had after reading these search results.).  The stories were awful, but the PICTURES were the stuff of nightmares.  Apparently shooting lasers at your eyeholes might have a downside.  Who knew?  This ALMOST made me change my mind.  Fortunately I didn’t, and after a week of absolute misery (thank you Wife for being the absolute best nurse ever!) I have 20/20 vision.  I did not receive any super powers (which I’ll admit left me slightly disappointed), so… you know… I wouldn’t go into it expecting that, I guess.

laser eyes

Anyway, the chance for error is teeny tiny, especially if you go to a reputable place.  Here’s a tip: You don’t want the lowest bid for laser eye surgery.  Mine was $4,000 ($2k/eye).  TOTALLY WORTH IT.  I maxed out my FSA that year so about half of it was pre-tax.  But I digress…

Anyway, that is probably the only time I’ve regretted actively searching for something on google.  What’s your story?  Share it in the comments below!

As always, thanks for reading.  And, you’re welcome.

Living the Dream,
-Humble Dave

Mopo Wireless External Battery Charger (12,000 mAh)

Have you EVER heard of an external battery charger that had Qi Wireless Charging capability?  Because before this, I definitely had not.  Didn’t even know such a thing EXISTED.  Finding this is like accidentally stumbling upon the hidden city of Shangri-La while looking for the restroom at a ballpark: Unexpected, and delightful!

20161003_082808
Welcome! 🙂

On the off change you don’t know what these are: They’re spare batteries for your phone, tablet, etc.  Anything that can be charged off USB, basically.  They come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and the batteries store different amounts of mAh (mili-amp-hours) of power.  For example, the Mopo I’m talking about here holds 12,000 mAh of power.  My Galaxy S7 Edge phone has a 3500 mAh battery.  I can charge my phone about 3 times with this battery.

Listen, we all have external batteries lying around.  And if you don’t, what’s wrong with you?  I have on in my night-table, one behind the couch, two in the coffee table, one in my car, one on my dresser, one in the kitchen, and a few more in random boxes and bags throughout the house.  You never know when you’re going to need an extra charge, and it’s better to have one (or 10) and not need it, than need it and not have it.

Most of my external battery chargers are 10,000 mAh.  This, as I said, is 12,000.  So that’s good!  It has two 2 Amp USB outputs so you can charge two devices at a time. “But Dave,” you say, “what’s so special about it?”  I’m glad you asked!

Wireless charging.  If you know anything about me it’s that I have a huge fetish for51t-xmy6eql-_sl1000_
wireless charging.  Plug my phone into something?  Not me.  I place my phone on a charger and like magic, it charges.  THAT’S MY BAG, BABY!  And this is literally the only external battery I’ve ever seen that offers it. I’m sure there are more, but never once have I come across them.  I only heard about this when the Amazon seller “Maxpower Intelligence” contacted me and asked if I wanted a free one in exchange for testing and reviewing it.  I did a double and triple-take before I realized what it was.  So… happy.
So anyway, it works great!  There’s 4 lights on the side that indicate the charge of the battery (3000 mAh each), the two 2 Amp USB ports for wired charging, and the Qi charging coil on the top (represented by the white circle) for your wireless charging.  I freaking love it.  Enjoy!

Living the Dream,

-Humble Dave

Mopo 12000 mAh Wireless Power Bank

 

Disclosure: I received this product at a discount in exchange for testing and reviewing it.  All opinions are my own.