PUZZLES!

I love puzzles!  Jigsaw puzzles are fun but are mostly an exercise in patience.  Except for this jigsaw called One Tough Puzzle.  Wow.  It’s only 9 pieces.  There are no edge pieces, so all 9 pieces have 4 usable sides.  According to the box there are over 300,000 ways to align them incorrectly, but ONLY 1 WAY TO DO IT RIGHT!

Just for fun, I crunched a few numbers on this one.  If you average 10 seconds each time you do the puzzle, and you’re supremely unlucky thereby finishing it on the 300,000th try, you spent a little over 833 hours on these 9 puzzle pieces.  THAT’S OVER 1 MONTH of steady puzzling, nonstop.  No eating, sleeping, bathroom breaks, etc.  Also assuming you average 10 seconds per attempt, and really that would be nearly impossible.  20 seconds makes it closer to 2 1/3 months of constant work.

puz-4

My mom finished it.  Of course she did.  She’s amazing.  The rest of us ordinary people just have to do the best we can.  I’ve had this thing for YEARS and still haven’t gotten it.

So, the moral of this story is puzzles suck, but are also kinda awesome.  I recommend you buy this for a friend or family member who loves puzzles.  You can also buy it for a friend or family member you hate.  I won’t judge.

Stupid puzzle.

As always, thanks for reading, and you’re welcome!

Living the dream,

Humble Dave.

P.S. Stupid puzzle.

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“The Monk Joke”

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a very strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, The same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and again fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.

The man says, All right, all right. I’m dying to know.

If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?

The monks reply, You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles, when you find these numbers, you will become a monk. The man sets about his task. Some 54 years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.

He says, I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply, Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.

The monks lead the man to a wooden door where the head monk says, The sound is right behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.

He says, Real funny. May I have the key? The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.

The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.

Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire, And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, This is the last key to the last door.

The man is relieved to know that he has finally reached to the end .

He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.  Having finally learned the source, a profound peace encompasses him and he lives the rest of his life happy and fulfilled.

The End.

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What’s that?  You want to know the source of the sound?

How should I know? I’m not a monk.

 

sorry

Remember: The best way to make a joke like this funny is to tell it to someone else! 🙂  As always, thanks for reading, and you’re welcome!

Happy Friday!

-Humble Dave

CALM DOWN

A guy walks into his Psychiatrist’s office all worked up.  He’s pacing around the office and can’t sit still.  The doctor asks him what’s wrong…

Crazy Guy: “Doc!  I’m freaking out because I’m having these weird dreams.  They just keep repeating.  I can’t figure it out and it’s driving me crazy!”

Doc: “Calm down for a minute and tell me what you’re dreaming.  We’ll figure this out together.”

Crazy Guy: “OK.  Ok.  Whew.  Ok.  First I dream I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam, and it goes on and on like that!  I’m freaking losing it!  You’ve gotta help me!”

Doc: “Ah, I’ve seen this before.  Don’t worry, I know exactly what your problem is.  You’re two tents!”

laughing

Enjoy, and you’re welcome!

-Humble Dave