My Dog Is Weird #2

If you read my first installment in this series you know my dog is a shower-licker.  But that’s obviously not his only habit that mystifies.  It’s obvious because otherwise, a) I couldn’t call this a series, and b) you wouldn’t be reading this right now.

So weird habit #2 (and probably Weird Habit #3, although that’s another post) involves his sleeping position, inasmuch as it’s actually possible to sleep like this:

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Please note, if you will his back pressed hard into the edge of the coffee table.  The hard, wooden, pointed edge of my coffee table.  Why?

I hear you.  “That doesn’t look so bad,” you say.  “I’ve probably slept against some edges like that in my time.”  Perhaps even, “At least he’s still on the rug!”  And from a certain perspective you’d be right. But fortunately for you, that’s not the only perspective you get.

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Let’s take a closer look at the corner of the table, shall we?

Well, that looks pretty uncomfortable.  The corner does appear to be poking him a bit.  But maybe another angle will shed some light on the situation?

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WHY?

Yup.  Most uncomfortable position ever, confirmed.  I mean, we’ve all been in situations where we’ve been compelled to sleep in an uncomfortable place.  But how often have you volunteered for this, when there are literally dozens of more comfortable places to sleep?

I don’t get it.  But then, I’m not a dog.

As always, thanks for reading, and you’re welcome.

Living the Dream,
Humble Dave

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The Importance of Socks and Pump Up The Volume

You know, I came here with a purpose today.  I was going to write about something so important, so CRITICAL to a happy life that I rushed to my computer to ensure you had access to this information immediately.  And it really IS amazing how the right pair of socks (or lack thereof), can completely affect your life.  Think on I’m wrong?  YOU’RE WRONG.  And I’ll probably tell you why.  Only probably?  Yes.

The thing that diverted me nearly completely from The Tao of Socks, is the fact that Pump Up The Volume should be required viewing in high schools across America.

pumpcoverYou probably haven’t seen it in a while.  It’s the story about a high schooler played byKevin Bacon who runs a pirate radio station out of his parents basement.  First of all, Kevin Bacon is a national treasure.  Second of all, the messaging seems incredibly relevant these days.  I really don’t think I can do it justice, so I’ll leave you with this: Violence in our schools is bad; we all agree on that.  Where we disagree is on the causes and how to solve it.  This movie deals with the raging emotions, unreasonable expectations, and incredible pressures that teenagers have to deal with.  It also offers hope.  Go watch it.  You might hate it, but I’m still right.  Happy Harry Hardon to the rescue!

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While I’ve got you, I’ll recommend Gleaming the Cube as well.  Another Kevin Bacon classic.  No bigger message, just a fun 80’s movie.

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Socks.  Welp, this seems trivial after helping to solve the school violence problem, but I’ll give it a go.

 

There’s are loads of different kinds of socks.  I was going to try and list them here but when I started I realized that it’s an exercise in futility.  I’m not sure if I mentioned this already, but there are LOADS of different kinds of socks!

I also realized that this isn’t the kind of thing that can be explained, it has to be experienced.  So here’s my proposition:  Buy a nice pair of wooly socks.  Big, fuzzy, wooly socks.  Then go wear your normal* socks for a day.  At the end of the day, after you’ve completed your tasks/chores/responsibilities and are ready to relax, change into the wooly ones.  Then sit down and relax** however you do it.  That’s better, right?  the socks?  I know!  They add a whole other dimension to the experience.  It’s like, before you were relaxing.  And it was good!  But now you’re relaxing, and it’s much better.  By a measurable factor of 2-wooly-socks better.  There’s no need to thank me; you are SO welcome.

So there you go!  An unplanned posts on a Sunday evening.  Enjoy!

Living The Dream,
Humble Dave

*There are many kinds of normal socks.  To improve your overall mood throughout the day, I recommend getting a “fun” pair of socks.  Splashes of color.  Spiderman socks.  Whatever.  Go crazy.  You’ll thank me for this when you’re standing in a business meeting negotiating a multi-million dollar deal, you suddenly remember you’re wearing Marvin the Martian socks, and you smile.  You’re welcome.
**If you’re unsure how to relax, or don’t like your current technique and are looking at other options, please allow me to make a suggestion:  Comfy chair, glass of whiskey (however you like it.  Don’t let someone else tell you how to enjoy your whiskey), fireplace.  Combine those three things with one of the following:  A good movie, a good book, or quiet contemplation.  Enjoy.