Break out your typing fingers and alert your HR department, because I am up for grabs! In the comments section below post why you think I’d be a good fit for your company. I will respond to everyone individually within 24 hours (and probably even faster!) to discuss next steps.
I know, I know. You’re asking yourself, “What is happening right now? This Dave guy has turned the entire employment process upside-down and I don’t like it!”
Of course you do; you’re just a tiny bit confused right now. After a brief adjustment period you’ll realize that this is the easiest first interview you’ve ever experienced! I mean, shoot. You’re already here! We’re interacting in a casual environment where you can learn about me without even having to go through HR (unless you ARE HR, in which case: You are the glue that holds the company together. Thank you for your integral role in maintaining America’s economic awesomeness!).
How can you possibly learn anything about me here? You’re in luck, because I have written a whole bunch of semi-interesting content here. I’ll be the first to admit that some of it is more interesting than others. Fortunately, my writing style is a glorious window into my personality! Even the mediocre ramblings will entertain you while you learn about me. It’s like a treasure hunt! WOW! THIS IS SO EXCITING!
I heard that. You thought, “This guy doesn’t sound very humble.” I think I’m medium-humble. Total inclusive humbleness. Let’s hear your ideas. Neat! Here are my ideas. Neat! Let’s “Ben Franklin” these ideas and figure out which is best for the current situation. BOOM. We just solved one of your company’s biggest challenges together. Feels good, doesn’t it? Well, not yet, obviously. But that’s the feeling you’ll have ALL THE TIME once we’re working together. It’s like drinking that first sip of hot cocoa on a cold day, where the marshmallows are still perfect, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Sure, we might burn our tongues from time to time, but it’s totally worth it.
Did that make sense? Of course it did. But regardless, sometimes nonsense is the best kind of sense. Occasionally you have to explore the ridiculous in order to discover the possible. Frankly, that’s what we’re doing here right now, isn’t it? Let’s turn this process inside out and make it work for us, instead of the other way around.
Come on. You don’t want to sift through 900 resumes trying to figure out if someone is going to be a good fit for your organization by reading their work history. You want to know about their PERSONALITY. I’m offering you that first; the rest is the easy part! A laundry list of skills and work experience. Boring. Necessary, but boring. We’ll get there next.
I’m open to everything and anything. If you’re hiring, and your brief exposure to the inside of my mind intrigues you, comment below and let’s chat. Or don’t, and have fun playing resume roulette!
Please, Thank You, and You’re Welcome!