You Snooze, You Looze

It’s happened to you.  It’s happened to all of us.

It can’t be trusted, and yet we continually put our trust in it.

What is this strange power it has over us?

The Snooze Button. There’s one on every digital alarm clock and its sole purpose is to make you late for something.

Walk with me here for a moment… You have an appointment in the morning. Work. The dentist. A breakfast date with your spouse/child/dog. Whatevs. You set your alarm so you’ll get up to be there on time. Sleep. Peaceful, happy, dreamy, lovely sleep. ALARM! I’M UP I’M UP I’M UP. Maybe just a few more minutes. You hit… Snooze. BOOM. You’re screwed.  Has this happened to you?  Of course it has.  But don’t worry, Humble Dave is going to sort you out.

First off, snooze is rarely the same amount of time on an alarm clock. It can be anywhere from 5-15 minutes, and if you didn’t read the manual it’s just a guessing game.

In fact, “snooze” is one of the great variables of the universe. If snooze =n, then n=”the exact amount of time needed to make you late for an appointment.” Scientists have been studying this phenomena for decades and are no closer to understanding its mysteries. Wait.  Stop. You were going to look this up on the internet to verify my claims. Don’t do that. Look it up in your gut. You know it’s true.

Fine, you want science? Snoozing is more likely to ruin your night’s rest.

Probably who use the snooze are more likely to late.   I’m not going to source this because I made it up.  But, you just read it on the internet, so you know it’s true.  EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET CAN BE TRUSTED!

According to a Professor Matthew Walker, neuroscientist (wow that sounds super official!), snoozing inflicts “cardiovascular assault” on your body!

Okay, here’s a big one.  This article actually starts off by saying a snooze or two isn’t bad (idiots), but then goes on to say that snoozing can cause one of the most horrific side effects I’ve ever heard: YOU MISS YOUR MORNING POOP! Dear God, WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

Is that enough? Here’s the important bit. Are you paying attention? Set your alarm for the time you want to get up, then get up when it goes off. Move it across the room if you have to. Use an alarm like the Ruggie. Do whatever you have to do. Don’t let the snooze do to you what it’s done to so many others. Minutes, years, decades of lost time. Remember, you snooze, you looze.

As always, thanks for reading, and you’re welcome.

Living The Dream,
Humble Dave

p.s. I know it’s spelled “lose.” But I’m in charge here, and I liked it better this way. #Dealwithit

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7 thoughts on “You Snooze, You Looze

    1. Yes! It’s like a futile attempt to escape the day. I feel like the more people snooze the more dissatisfied they are with their lives. I wonder if anytime has done a study correlating snooze button and general unhappiness.

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      1. They’re just using the snooze button as an avoidance to get up and interact with the world (or is that just me 🤣) I think there should be a study done (I don’t mind being involved) I’m just glad coffee is around just to give me abit of a boost in the morning 🤣

        Liked by 1 person

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